Test: How American Are you?
Description: A test which will tell you how American you are
You wake up one morning with a sore neck. What do you do?
Take yourself to a prostitute addicted televangelist faith healer in an ill fitting wig, who will lay his hands on you, whilst screaming about devils in front of an audience of gibbering inbreds.
Ignore it, it will probably go away.
What kind of car do you drive?
A forty foot long chromium plated jukebox that does 2 miles to the gallon.
A small economical runabout
You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run over a rabbit. What do you do?
Strap it across the hood of your car and drive home hooping and a hollering, while throwing empty cans of Budweiser out the window.
Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it's alive.
You decide that your relationship with you partner is over. How do you break the news that you are leaving?
Attack him with a chair leg in front of a rabble of cheering, pumped up trailer trash vermin, on national television.
Leave a tearful note on the kitchen table and slip away into the night.
Your fourteen year old son is going through a difficult phase. He is becoming disruptive at school and a recluse at home What do you do?
Take him to the local supermarket and buy him an arsenal of weaponry and enough ammo to kill a small town.
Don't worry, it's just a phase he is going through. You were the same at his age.
You decide to get married. What kind of ceremony do you have?
A minute long mockery at a 24hr drive thru chapel in Las Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.
A quiet little service with a few friends.
What do you have for breakfast?
A bag of donuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with 6 eggs sunny side up, fifteen pancakes covered in a gallon of maple syrup, a dozen waffles, 5 corn dogs and a diet root beer.
A bowl of cornflakes, a slice of toast and a coffee.
Where are you most likely to find your local policeman?
On his yacht, wearing a pastel suit with the sleeves rolled up, feeding his pet crocodile.
Outside the police house in the village mending a puncture on his bicycle.
You and your pals decide to go to the park and have a game of football. What do you bring?
A ball, 50 crash helmets, 4 tonnes of body armour, 20 cheer leaders, a marching souza band and a team of othopedic surgeons specialising in spinal injuries.
A ball and two coats (for goalposts)
0%???? wat i was born and raised in america the south to be exact
ths is gay